It Wasn't Abuse, Was It?
by Cyhyr
Summary: Of course Roxas's parents didn't fight. They loved each other; why would they fight? Discontinued.
1. Statements

Memories

_These statements are quoted from those whose lives he touched while he was still alive. They were all asked his name, and what follows is the first thing that each of them said._

He was my best friend. _Kairi_

He was my first boyfriend. _Sora_

My older brother... _Aqua_

I hate my dad so much! _Tidus_

He was my role model. _Ven_

If that asshole wasn't already dead, I'd kill him myself for take my little bro away from me. _Cloud_

I wish I knew him better. _Leon_

I wish we hadn't fought the day before... I regret it so much. _Demyx_

I still can't believe he's gone. _Zexion_

We had been voted "most likely to still be friends ten years from now." I still consider him by best friend, even though he's gone. _Naminè_

I'll always love him, and God, I'll miss him every second of my life. _Axel_

* * *

Disclaimer: Spork says no... as always

A/N: This outline is done, so I'll have this one updated every month, at least. Have fun reading; maybe review, please?


	2. First Letter: Dear Namine

First Letter

_Naminè,_

_Don't look at me like that. I didn't sleep well Wednesday night, so I got mom to let me stay home to catch up. It was past noon by the time I woke up again, so I didn't bother coming to school. _

_How did Physics go? English? Did I miss anything really important? What are you doing after school?_

_Oh, and Aqua is sick again. Can you tell Yuna that she'll be out for the next few days, please?_

_Thanks in advance,_

_Roxas_

* * *

I first got this letter two weeks into our senior year. I hadn't seen him over the summer because his family moved eight miles out of town and he was never home, anyway. His family was helping Cloud move in to his dorm, and Roxas spent as much time with Cloud as he could before classes started. When Roxas came into school the first day back with a limp and bloodshot eyes, I should have known then that something was wrong. But, I didn't ask that first time, thinking that he just was wrestling with Cloud and Leon. I still don't remember my excuse for his eyes, though.

The various injuries never really went away. I didn't see much of him those first few weeks because we didn't have any classes together and I had volleyball after school; even if I didn't have volleyball, he had to ride a bus home sometimes, and I walked. When I did see him he always looked tired, and at least once a week he came to school with a large bruise somewhere.

I should have known then that something was wrong.

I asked him about it a few times, but he'd just ignore me. Even if I insisted that he tell me, he would find a reason to walk away. I wish I had told a teacher about my suspicions before The Pact, before he started believing that it would stop.

I remember the day we made The Pact, the day he told me that something was going on at home, and that he was worried that his family was going to fall apart. We were walking to my house after the Fall Festival parade when he turned to me and asked, "Naminè, did your parents fight a lot before they split up?"

"Yes," I said back. "Why? Did yours fight last night?"

Roxas, I remember, wouldn't look me in the eye. I knew then, that he had been hiding something important from me. It was barely a whisper when he answered me, "They've been fighting since Cloud left."

It was almost October when he told me this- September 21, the first day of Fall. Cloud had left at the beginning of August. Almost two months. I was so mad at myself for not getting Kairi to help me interrogate him before.

But, there was more for him to say, and he mumbled this: "They keep trying to blame it on Ven, Aqua, and-or Tidus, so they go after them, but I've been locking them up in my room while the parents fight downstairs."

He stayed quiet until we got into my house, and then sat on the stairs. My mom wasn't home yet, so I didn't bother shooing him up to my room.

I've tried, actually, to forget this look that he gave me next. It scared me to see my best friend- the same guy that broke his leg in fifth grade and laughed over it- breaking down over anything. His eyes were swimming and his breath was shaky. I had just noticed that his lip was ripped- probably from biting it so hard. He wiped at his face, sighed and then told me the latest event that had happened at home.

"Dad made Aqua take her shirt off last night. So he could show mom how fucked up she is," he whispered.

I remember that I lost my breath, then gasped. "He _what???_"

"Yeah, I know, right?" Two tears streaked down his left cheek- I remember it perfectly. He sniffed, then continued. "Dad said that Aqua will never find anyone cuz she gets her body from mom."

I couldn't say anything- I was in shock. I _knew_ his mom and dad- they were a second set of parents, almost. I would have never expected them to fight over anything, especially looks.

"I couldn't do anything," Roxas said to me, both his eyes overflowing. I sat down next to him and rubbed his back, but he wouldn't let all of it out. "I just... watched... while he fought with Aqua to get her shirt off. It was her favorite, you know, the blue one with the buttons down the front?"

I knew exactly which one he was talking about. I got Aqua that shirt for her birthday a year previous.

"He took a knife and cut it down the middle."

That's all I remember him saying about that. I do know that I led him upstairs before my mom came home, and let him sleep on my bed. After he woke up, I offered to drive him home, and before he got out of the car ten minutes later, I turned to him and said, "Roxas, if it ever gets worse, don't hesitate to bring them to my place. You know my mom has no problem with your siblings."

He nodded, but I pulled on his arm to stop him. "And, Roxas?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me when stuff like this happens, okay?"

"Only if you promise not to tell anyone," he said.

I almost dared to object. I should have. I should have told him that I couldn't be expected to keep this kind of information to myself.

But, I didn't. I promised that I wouldn't tell. I made the Pact. The Pact that stated that if I thought it was getting out of control, and I thought his life was in danger, I couldn't tell. Period.

That deal I made probably cost my best friend his life.

* * *

Disclaimer: I need a shirt that says "THE SPORK RULES THE WORLD." That way, I wouldn't have to do disclaimers.

A/N: Hey. Um.... Yeah.... I don't... have much to say.... um...

... How was it?


	3. A Short Note: Hey Kai

A Short Note

_Hey Kai,_

_It's probably stupid to ask, but Ven needs help with his school work. Can you take him at least one afternoon a week and guide him through some of it please? I try to help him, but we are always interrupted by something. If you can't find the time, that's okay. I'll find a way to help Ven._

_Roxas_

* * *

I found this note taped to my locker on September 19, 2007. This was not odd- Roxas and I never seemed to have classes together, so a note on my locker wasn't surprising. At first, I didn't think there was anything wrong, but then I read into it a little more. Ven was- and still is- the best student in his class. Ven needing any help at all startled me, and that's why I picked this note to write about over any other from that time.

I had thought about it during Calculus. I remember I worried, first, about Maureen's health, thinking that it was her job to help her children with their work. I had hoped that it wasn't serious, because I hated to think how the kids would react to her death. Then, the strain on Roxas to keep them calm! No wonder Ven needs help, I thought.

So, I told Roxas that I would help Ven. If something was wrong with his mom, Roxas probably wouldn't tell anyone until she was dead. But, I knew that Ven would tell me if something bad was going on with his mother.

On September 22, Ven came home with me for the first time. I arranged it so Roxas cold come pick Ven up before four-thirty, when volleyball practice started. I helped Ven finish his math and science work and while he worked on his alphabetical order, I asked him about Maureen. "Ven," I said, "why doesn't your mom help you with your work?"

He wrote his list without speaking, and didn't answer me until the last word was written out. Then he put his workbook back in his backpack and pulled out a crossword for Language Arts. "Roxas told me you might ask about her. He told me not to tell." Ven looked up at me after writing a word across the top.

Whenever Ven looks at me like that now, I remember the thought I had that day and wonder if that was a sign, thinking like that. I had thought, _wow, they have the same eyes._ I wonder if thinking like that was a clue that I would never be able to look at Ven in the eye again without crying.

I let him down so much...

"I promised I wouldn't tell," he continued, "but, Maureen's not mom anymore, so I guess it's okay."

At first, I didn't understand what he meant. But he told me a short story and I got it. A week ago, Maureen had cheated on Mark, her husband, with a coworker. Ven saw this as betrayal to their family, so he couldn't see her as his mom anymore. He said that moms were supposed to stick with their families, and she didn't. I wanted to tell him that it was disrespectful to speak of her like he had, but I couldn't.

Ven was refusing help from Maureen to prove to her just how awful a mother she was. It made perfect sense to me.

When Roxas came to pick Ven up and drop me off at practice, I noticed a huge bruise on his knee. I asked about it, but he just shrugged at me and said he tripped. While he went through my kitchen to find something quick to eat, Ven pulled me sown and whispered in my ear, "He didn't trip, Maureen and Dad were fighting and he got in the middle of it. He does it all the time, if Dad isn't drunk."

I never did tell Roxas what Ven told me that day. Ven had already lost trust in mother; I didn't want to be the one to break the bond Ven had with Roxas.

September 22, 2007, at four-thirteen in the afternoon. I started fearing for the safety of my best friend and his siblings. The fear never stopped.

* * *

Disclaimer: I asked The Spork nicely if I could have Kingdom Hearts. The Spork yelled at me and told me to crawl into my closet and just write my plot. I tried crawling into my closet, but it's so crowed with boxes that I couldn't do it. The Spork got angry and told me I would never own Kingdom Hearts.

Oh well.

A/N: I know, it's short, I should have had it up before. But, this isn't my first priority (don't gasp, it's not healthy, and you might swallow a fly). I just got accepted into my second-choice college, and I have to prepare three solos for the audition in March. One, I played in tenth grade, so I'm not too worried about it, but the other two were just really pretty- but one is French, so I'm having a difficult time with it. The other I don't have a recording for yet, so I'm not positive on the phrasing. Also, I have to read 200 pages of Pride and Prejudice in two days. Not happy-making. But, I do write when I'm in school, so I have the next chapter done, I'm just not posting it right now because I have to go read.

But, guess what else is going to be posted soon (I've got the outline almost done-done)......... Alone's sequal! Yay, right? But it might end up being an after-I-finish-auditions thing. Which, probably won't be until April or May, so... but, it will happen!


	4. Second Letter: Mine

Second Letter

'_Minè,_

_Who was that guy at the party on sat.? I assumed that he was related to Kairi, but he's in college, isn't he? Does that mean I have no chance, or… is he into younger guys?_

_Don't worry about my arm- I fell down the stairs yesterday. The cast'll be off by mid-Nov, but I can still cheer for you and Kairi._

_See you at the game later,_

_Roxas_

* * *

I had hoped that he wouldn't lie to me after we made the Pact, but he did. I didn't find out through him that he had been _pushed_ down the stairs; I had to ask Aqua after her soccer practice later in the week that I received this letter.

I knew that he had lied to me the minute I saw him with a cast and bruises on his neck. He had just smiled at me like nothing was wrong. No one would tell me where the bruises on his neck came from, not even Aqua.

We had a deal, I reminded him. I hadn't told anyone about what was going on in his home, and he was supposed to tell me when stuff like that happens.

Eventually, I dropped it.

But, the issue with Axel never dropped. When I first asked him why he would want to know about him, Roxas would just stutter and blush, and I would giggle a bit. It was a good time when we were able to talk guys together- it's not like his bisexuality was a secret.

Axel is Kairi's cousin on her mother's side. He came to live with Kai after he dropped out of Wonderland's School for Creative Arts, studying liberal arts- music, and writing, mostly. But they said that he was just a little too down-to-earth for them, and he left. Besides that, Axel says that the school itself was just plain creepy.

Yuna's birthday party was that Saturday when Roxas and Axel first met. They didn't even know each other's name but they talked and acted like they had known each other for years.

Though I supported Roxas being happy, I really had hoped that he could have found happiness with my twin brother, Demyx. Dem had been pining for Roxas for almost two years, but I think we both knew that he never really had a chance- especially after Roxas became obsessed with seeing Axel again. Dem, unfortunately, also went to a private school in Atlantica for music, and was only home every other weekend.

It was good for Roxas, though, the time that he spent with Axel. They became good friends, going to our volleyball games and hanging out together on Saturdays. There was always this brightness in his eyes that no amount of bruises would ever cover up.

By the end of September, I had hoped- and believed- that whatever Roxas went through, Axel would help him through it. But, I walked in on them a couple times when Axel was asking where a recent bruise came from. Roxas didn't want him to care, and told him that time and time again, but Axel was persistent. Soon, Roxas stopped asking about Axel, and started avoiding him whenever he could.

It made Demyx happy that Roxas seemed to be giving up on Axel. But Roxas, I think, died a little each day he went without him.

* * *

Disclaimer: "No!" says The Spork

A/N: oh yeah, if shounen ai makes you sick, you might want to stop reading from now on. I didn't put it in the summary or as a pairing because it's not a major theme of the story. Axel and Roxas are big in Roxas's life, but it's not what the story is about. Don't flame me because I didn't warn you that the story has slashy references- I really won't care enough to respond to you, even if you bring up other points in the story that I would normally respond to. Other than that, please review!


	5. September 2008

September 2008

Kairi walks up the steps of a modest, two-story house. She feels the last warmth of summer pouring over her and she holds her head high. Her thoughts almost go back to what happened four months ago, but she is stronger than that. The fear of breaking down in the middle of the street keeps her in check.

Instead, she reminds herself of why she is here. The kid's school year had just started two weeks ago, but Tidus is already behind in his work. Kairi knocks on the door, knowing that someone would be home. It opens; Cloud stands in front of her.

"May I come in, Cloud?" she asks. Cloud just nods, stands aside. His hair- the shade, the style, even the way the breeze fluffs it up- reminds Kairi of Roxas. They are alike in so many ways.

"What's up Kai?" Cloud says, moving into the living room.

"I'm worried about Tidus." Kairi explains the high school sophomore's schoolwork problem.

Cloud sighs, stands up, and goes to a picture on the mantel. He turns to Kairi and says, "What am I supposed to do?"

"Get on his case!" Kairi says. "Tells him he won't be allowed to play blitzball in the spring if his grades keep slipping!"

Cloud takes the picture off the mantel and shows it to Kairi. "Am I him???" Kairi sees the photo and squirms. "Am I Roxas???"

"No," she whispers.

"I can't get them to stop grieving, Kai! If their work is affected by his death, I can't help them!" He put the picture back and sat on the other end of the couch. "I can't help them, Kai. I'm still trying to accept that he's gone, too," he says, almost whispers. Kairi can tell that he's about to cry, so she moves so she is next to him. They hold each other's hands and sit with their eyes swimming. Neither cry, though. She takes her leave when Tidus comes through the door at three-ten.

As she walks down the sidewalk, she looks at how there is so much life around her. Why can't Roxas share in that life? Birds fly, trees grows, time goes on. But, everyone around her is falling apart without him.

Kairi knows that she won't be able to get Tidus's grades up as his friend. But, when volleyball starts in November, she'll be his coach, and she will have the power to make him get his grades up.

* * *

"Just remember to do the same thing to both sides," Naminè says to Aqua as they sit at her kitchen table. Aqua got her first tough assignment for Algebra and Naminè had promised to help out with hers- and Ven's- homework.

Ven hasn't needed any help yet- it seems that the death of his older brother is making him more involved in his schoolwork. Naminè hasn't seen Ven cry at all, and she is worried that he will become detached. She recently made an appointment with the psychologist that Axel has to see why he's not in a typical grieving stage.

"Why would they put me in the advanced class if I can't do the work?" Aqua asks and throws her pencil down. The homework is long, but not difficult. Naminè knows that Aqua can do it if she puts her mind to it. But, this depression she has gone into really affects her self-esteem, and she keeps saying that she's stupid. Her guidance counselor says that Aqua should probably be in a regular math class now, but she needs to be in as many classes with her friends as she can get, and all of her friends are in the advanced class.

"Aqua," Naminè says, "You did this stuff last year, in seventh grade. This is just a tiny step up."

She looks at Naminè and glares. "_Roxas_ helped me all last year. I almost _failed_ the math final because _he_ wasn't there to help me study!" She stands up and gathers her books together, mumbles, "I'm leaving," then goes out the door.

Naminè looks out in the living room, where Ven is still watching at cartoon. She smiles, then starts to feel tears burning at the corners of her eyes. Ven even acts like Roxas used to, and looks more like him than Cloud does. Ven and Roxas are so very much alike.

"_You never know how much you treasure something 'til it's gone."_ How often did Roxas say things like that? Namine holds her head in her hands and lets her tears fall silently. Four months- she can only wish that she would be over it by now. But knowing how much it's affecting her now, she can't imagine a time when she will be completely over his death.

* * *

He opens his bright green eyes and yawns. Four months today- a trip to therapy, that's what it means. At least he knows why he feels numb instead of on the verge of tears. A quick glance to his side shows him the body next to him that then shifts and turns away.

Axel looks down at Sora, feeling guilty. Last night- and the others before- was a mistake. But, Sora always comes to him every night; even though Axel tells him to go elsewhere, Sora says he's got nowhere else to be. Axel can't say no to Sora because, well, he needs to forget the nights he used to spend with _him_, too.

Then, every morning, they wake up next to each other, and it's always horribly awkward while they dress and have breakfast. They go through the same steps this morning, like it was any other, though this morning, Axel takes the sheets and blankets off and puts fresh ones on. Sora is confused, looking over at the bedroom from the table, Axel knows, but when he's done, he goes and sits in front of Sora and sighs.

"Sora," he says, "I want you to find someone else."

The brunette, eating his cereal, nods. "I never thought it would last this long," Sora says. He stands up and washes his dishes, then kisses Axel on the cheek before grabbing his keys. "I'll be back for my stuff later, okay?"

Axel lets his head roll back, runs his fingers through his hair. As much as he'd like to think that Sora won't come back, he has a feeling that the brunette won't find someone else. And, as much as he had been meaning to tell Sora off for always coming to him, Axel hopes (a little) that Sora will come back.

Sora and Roxas are so alike...

Axel shakes his head. He goes to shower and gets ready for his hour in therapy. He promised he would pick Ven up today and take him in to Radiant Garden with him, and stay with the little blonde while Dr. Gainsborough talks to him about why he doesn't seem to be affected by his brother's death.

There. He's said it. Axel cries freely for ten minutes, finally agreeing with the truth that Roxas is gone. No, not gone. Dead.

Roxas is dead. And, no amount of crying is going to bring him back.

* * *

Disclaimer: Ryshie should totally make me a poster that has the Spork saying "NO!!!"

A/N: I don't have much to say about this one. Review?


	6. Third Letter: Namine

Third Letter

_Namine,_

_I know you're worried about us, but you know my parents. They'd never hurt us deliberately. I'm pretty sure that they're drunk when they fight. Dad always seems guilty when he sees me with a black eye or some other bruise._

_I'm sorry I lied about my arm. But, even though it was him who pushed me down the stairs, he tried to help me. He brought me to the hospital, so he can't be as bad as he seems._

_Still, I'm having Van and Aqua stay at your place Friday nights, if that's okay. Tidus stays with Wakka, and I know they won't get hurt. It helps me sleep easier._

_Roxas_

* * *

It was a week after his arm was broken that I got this one. Ven and Aqua started staying with me on Friday nights after that because Roxas wanted them safe. He didn't seem to have any regard for himself. I asked him a few times if he wanted to stay over with them, but he would always decline.

Roxas felt he needed to be home to make sure that his parents didn't kill each other. Roxas would always say these things with a smile, like it was a joke he was sharing with someone else. Sometimes, I think that Roxas was in denial and didn't want to believe that he was in danger by staying with his mother and father.

One Saturday, I was driving Ven and Aqua home and followed them inside to talk to Roxas about something- I don't quite remember what. Aqua pulled me upstairs as soon as we walked in, as there was yelling coming from the living room. It was something about money, I think. Like, why was Maureen buying condoms when they didn't need them- they were married, what's the problem with having more children, or something like that.

Mark was very practical back then.

"Rox!" Aqua called, going into his room. I followed, not knowing what I was walking in on. I remember I gasped hard, and I had trouble breathing for a minute before he came over to me, worry plastered on his face. Roxas's left arm- not the casted one- was torn up and bloody.

The scent of blood makes me sick; it always has.

Roxas tried to calm me down but I ran to the bathroom across the hall before calming down would have had any effect. Aqua squatted next to me as I threw up. I stayed and sat next to the sink for almost ten minutes; Aqua was there for most of it, but then she left to help Roxas clean his arm.

Roxas came into the bathroom when he was bandaged up. I remember that he looked so guilty- for making me sick, I'm sure- and then he explained that he wouldn't be in school on Monday if his arm was still scratched up. "Roxas," I asked, "What happened?"

He wouldn't look me at all when he told me. "Mom went at Dad with a knife, and I just tried to stop them from killing each other," he said.

I was so angry with him. "Roxas, you're going to get yourself killed if you keep this up. Let them fight it out!" Maybe I jinxed him when I said that. I felt horrible when I said that and wished that I that I could take it back.

I still do.

He looked me in the eye, and told me, "The kids need parents. Mark and Maureen can't kill each other yet. Ven should be in high school before I won't care anymore."

He was right, though, in his letter. Not twenty minutes after the yelling downstairs ended, Mark came up to see Roxas and apologized, even though it wasn't by his hand that Roxas was hurt. Even then, I would have never guessed that I was hearing a killer give apologies to my best friend.

* * *

Disclaimer: Spork says no. I'm starting to think that the spork doesn't know how to say anything else.

A/N: Hey, quick updates! Look at that, I'm so cool... no, not really. I just have had this week off, so I've had time to type. Still, good, right?


	7. Oct 14, 2007

Oct 14, 2007

_Naminè talked me into seeing the school psychologist, but because I won't tell him anything, he's suggested that I just keep a journal of my feelings on what goes on at home. He tells me that he wants to see the entries I write every other meeting; all the more readon for me not to write what I feel. _

_Isn't that what our meetings are for- him to analyze my thoughts and feelings? Isn't that supposed to be a skill of him, to get me to talk about my life without him telling me outright that he's analyzing me?_

_I feel that what happens at home should stay at home, and should not be recorded. I think that this is a pointless waste of my time and could be better used getting homework or chores done. I know that all of my future entries are going to be either very similar to this one... or, invisible._

_There, Mr. Psychologist-man. I even did your feel-think-know shit._

* * *

That day, after I got home from soccer practice, I found Roxas on his bed writing. I tried to ask him what he was doing, but he closed the notebook before I got the chance to ask. After dinner, he was helping me with my homework and I asked him. "Rox," I said, "what were you writing before?"

"Just a thing for school, Aqua," he answered. He wouldn't tell me anything else. After we all went to bed, I read this journal entry, and I started hating my mom and dad even more. I didn't know that Roxas told Naminè, but she must have known then. Roxas was so affected by mom and dad fighting that he had to see the psychologist- and he broke his own rule.

Roxas told us, when mom and dad started fighting, that we should never tell anyone else. But he broke that rule by telling Naminè. I lost a little bit of my respect for him that day, but it was all back by the end of the week.

See, later that week, I had a soccer game and Roxas, Nami, Kairi, and a bunch of their other friends were there to cheer me on. I got one goal the entire game, but it was only one of two that the team made and this tall, redheaded guy (Axel, I learned later) called me the star of the team. Kairi and Nami paid for dinner for everyone, including Tidus and Ven.

Then Roxas drove us home and there were no lights on in the house. He parked, and then told us to stay in the car; then he went inside. "Tidus," Ven asked, "Roxas'll come back, right?"

Tidus looked back at us, a very unsure look. I started to be really scared, and Ven almost started crying (though he would never admit it if you asked him now). I saw the lights go on upstairs, and there was a crash- lots of yelling. A minute later, Roxas ran out of the house, tripping on the steps. Dad was following him, but much slower. I could tell that he was drunk.

Roxas got into the car and pulled out of the driveway. Ven was clinging to my arm and I was having a hard time breathing. See, in his rush to drive away, Roxas hit Dad with the car. I think I might have screamed, and that's why I had been gasping, but maybe not.

He drove for five minutes before Ven started crying and Tidus started asking Roxas what was going on and where we were going. I saw the speedometer spin more towards seventy- the speed limit was only fifty-five. Roxas's hands were clenching the steering wheel and he was bleeding on the side of his face; the boys were getting louder and I was getting a headache.

"Both of you, shut up!" I screamed. Ven stopped crying and Tidus stopped talking.

Roxas slowed down and relaxed, and then looked back at me in the mirror. "Thanks, Aqua," he said. The rest of the ride was silent. Roxas pulled up at Wakka's house and told Tidus that he'd be back in the morning to pick him up. Then he left Ven and me with Naminè; he told me to explain the situation, that she would understand.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm gonna go see Axel," he said. "Tell her that I'll be back in the morning, and that I'll talk to her then, okay?"

I nodded, then opened his door and hugged him. "Thank-you, Rox," I said, then helped Ven out of the car and held his hand as we went up to the house and let Naminè settle us in. I went to sleep that night hoping that Axel would help clean him up. And then tomorrow, maybe, we could do something fun- like, visit Cloud and Leon.

Because he made sure it was safe- or not, in this case- before he let us go in the house, I gained back the respect I had previously lost for him. I never told him outright, but I really loved Roxas. He was- no, is- the best brother a girl could ask for.

* * *

Disclaimer: There are millions of ways for me to say this. But, the Spork says it very effectively. "NO!!!"

A/N: A little bit from Aqua's POV. Yay for me. Reviews?


	8. Oct 31, 2007

October 31, 2007

_I'm guessing that what happened tonight is the kind of thing that Mr. Psychologist wants me to write about. Well, ha! I refuse to write about that. _

_I had a lot of fun hanging out with my friends. I also didn't realize how much I missed spending time with Axel._

_And, I'm really glad that Ven, Aqua, and Tidus weren't home when it happened…_

* * *

Roxas came over to my house after he finished dropping his siblings off at their friends' houses. Axel, Kairi, and Demyx were already there, and we were ready for the movie marathon that we thought was going to last until the next morning. It was going to be a good night for all of us, especially Roxas.

Axel even promised to be nice to Roxas and not bug him about scars and bruises that he saw. And, for the most part, he did just that. Axel was polite to Roxas, and by the end of the first movie and the first box of pizza, they were sitting next to each other and laughing and making jokes. Roxas's laughter was pure and real for the first time in months.

God, I'd give anything to hear him laugh like that again…

And poor Demyx! He had told me he was going to ask Roxas out that night. He couldn't even get Roxas alone to ask.

But, when I went into the kitchen to get more pizza, and Axel followed me, I wasn't expecting what happened. Axel stood in the doorway and almost glared at me, and then said, "You know what's happening to him." I collected myself, put a pizza in the oven to warm up, and said nothing. I tried to walk past him, to the living room, but he caught my arm and threw me up against the wall. I remember that my sight went black briefly, and then he continued. "He's being hurt," he seethed. "You are his best friend- if you know anything about what's happening to him, you're obligated to tell someone who can do something about it."

I kept thinking about The Pact. I couldn't tell. I promised I wouldn't tell.

"Tell me, Naminè," he said. "Who's hurting him?"

I'm not sure what happened after that, but I remember someone yelling, "Put her down!" and then I was on the floor. Someone was asking me if I was hurt, and someone else was screaming, "Stop fighting!"

I do remember when the world wasn't blurry anymore. I remember seeing Demyx ready to lunge at Axel, and Roxas in-between the two of them. I recognized the stance that Roxas took against Demyx- it was the same one I had seen him use once, a week before, when I witnessed Roxas defending Ven from Maureen. I knew, then, that if Demyx made to attack Axel, Roxas would protect him. Even if Demyx had a knife, Roxas would have taken it for Axel; though, I didn't understand why.

"Roxas," Demyx said warningly, "he just attacked Namine. You're gonna let him slide after that?"

Roxas let his arms hang at their sides, and his head hand from his neck. "Violence can not stop violence. The cycle's gotta end somewhere, and it'll end with me." Roxas looked up at Demyx, and Kairi helped me stand up. "If you want to hurt someone, hurt me."

Demyx backed up and held his hands up. "I'm not gonna hurt you, Rox. _You_ didn't do anything to deserve harm."

"No one ever does anything that makes them deserve to be hurt!!!" Roxas yelled. Axel put his hand on Roxas's shoulder, but Roxas shook him off.

The night was over- the fun of the night, at least. Roxas said good-bye after that, and said that he'd see us later- me and Kairi, tomorrow in school. He whispered to me, before he left, "I'm sorry I ever pulled you into this."

I only sat on the staircase and cried for the next hour. I knew what he was going home to, and I wished that we could have just had a normal night, like normal teenagers. Maybe, even gotten Roxas and Axel together- or Demyx.

"Demyx?" Roxas asked with his hand on the door handle.

"Yeah?" Demyx seemed like a puppy when he said that.

"You're a good friend, for listening to me before." Then, Roxas left.

Demyx interpreted that as the answer to his unspoken question. He ran upstairs and I think he cried for the rest of the night.

With so much crying in the house, poor Kairi started crying and laughing after awhile! It was a little funny, but not enough to save the ruined night.

The next day, after school, Roxas told me that it was a good thing that he had gone home when he did. Maureen had tried again to attack Mark, and Roxas had stopped it again. He said it was getting worse, and that he sent an email to Cloud asking him to come home for Thanksgiving.

"Does Cloud know yet?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"He's worried about passing college. I don't want to burden him with our problems."

"He's your older brother, Roxas! He's supposed to know about this kind of stuff!"

Roxas wouldn't say anything about it after that. I wish that Roxas could have gotten over his pride, and told someone himself. Keeping the Pact was starting to break me down from the inside out.

* * *

Disclaimer: what does the Spork say? "No."

A/N: Sorry, it took forever. I know. And, it's super short. I only just got the second chapter up for Isolation yesterday, and I didn't like my first draft of this chapter. So, I had to rewrite it three more times before I was happy with it, and I'm still upset with it.

... Whatever.

Reviews?


	9. October 2008

October 2008

She walks up the stairs of a dingy apartment building, wishing that she didn't have to be the one to tell him what their friends think. But Axel needs to hear what everyone's been saying. So, Kairi opens the door to his apartment using her key and calls out for her cousin. She waits for a moment, hearing footsteps in the bedroom. Then, the door opens and a blonde girl comes out, followed by Axel. They say quiet thanks and good-byes, and Kairi can't think of anything to say anymore.

When finally the blonde had been gone for almost a minute, Axel asks her, "What are you here for, Kai?"

She sighs and sits on the couch. "I originally came to tell you that everyone is worried about you; but I see you don't care."

Axel sits beside her, slouches, puts his head in his hands. It is silent in the room for awhile; Kairi wonders if it was that quiet before, when Axel and that girl were...

"I'm sorry, Kai," Axel says. "To everyone. I know I've been distant since the funeral, and I wish I wasn't..." Axel looks over at her, and Kairi flinches as she watches a single tear slip out of the corner of his eye. He finishes his thought, "I miss him so much, and being around everyone makes it worse."

Kairi puts her arm around his shoulders and nuzzles his hair. She thinks a moment, and then decides to tell him. "You know, Axel, we're all writing a memoir for Roxas. I'm sure you could add a lot to it," she says.

Axel looks up at her, confused. "What are you going to do with it?"

"Publish it, of course."

"So, you're gonna make money off of Roxas's life?" Axel has an angry gleam in his eyes, and Kairi shakes her head quickly.

"The profits are going to a charity for abuse victims," she explains. Axel's anger dissolves a little, but he still looks uneasy about the idea. So, Kairi continues, "Cloud agreed to it, and he's even agreed to write a bit. I've already gotten Aqua to write a part."

Axel nods, "I'll think about it," and Kairi tells him to visit Naminè soon. Then, she leaves him alone. He pulls out his wallet and looks at the picture he still has in the front. Five months ago, he could have seen Roxas's face without paper. Five months ago, that fucker took the only thing that made life important. Five months ago, Axel could have stopped him...

* * *

Demyx doesn't cry as much anymore. He spend the first two months crying himself to sleep, and the past two yelling at Naminè to quit crying and get over it. His counselor says he'd going through the "anger" stage, but Demyx snaps at him, saying that he's going through the "tired" stage.

He's tired of hearing everyone crying for Roxas even though it's been almost five months. He understood that everyone takes their own time to go through the stages, but come _on_ people; it's time to move on.

He's tired of having dreams of how it could have all been different. How, if Roxas had picked Demyx over Axel, Demyx would have never let Roxas go home that night. He would have made sure that Roxas stayed with him; rather than that _asshole_ Axel who let Roxas go back home for Ven. Roxas could have been alive today, and none of this would have happened if only _Roxas_ had chosen the better boyfriend.

He's tired of being so angry at everything and not being able to sleep...

But, he's okay, in a sense. After all, Zexion and he became good friends out of the incident, and now Demyx isn't so upset _all_ the time. At least, some nights, Demyx is able to sleep an hour or two, because Zexion sleeps next to him and Demyx can pretend that Zexion is Roxas.

He knows it's not right, but Demyx can't sleep any other way. Maybe, someday soon, he'll be able to sleep without imagining Roxas next to him. Maybe, he'll be able to sleep without worrying about Zexion finding out that it's not _his_ presence that is helping him sleep.

It's the size of Zexion's body. Zexion is only a little bit bigger than Roxas was.

* * *

Sora is walking through the park where he brought Roxas one day, last December. When he walked through it with Roxas, there was snow on the ground- a dusting, but it was enough for them. Now, he walks through falling leaves, and wonders where he went wrong with Roxas.

Maybe he pushed him a little too hard too fast. That's what Axel said was the problem. He wonders how things could have been better for all of them if he hadn't pushed Roxas into something he wasn't ready for. If he hadn't done that, Roxas and he might have lasted longer- maybe even long enough that Roxas would have moved out of his parent's house and in with Sora. Then, it wouldn't have been an issue that Ven was still at home.

Sora shakes his head and smiles. That was one of the things that Roxas was that made Sora love him so much: Roxas cared for his family so much. He would have never moved out, unless he knew that Tidus, Aqua, and Ven were all out of that house, too.

"Excuse me," someone says as they tap on Sora's shoulder. He jumps a little, but turns around and sees a taller man, with long, silver hair and bright aquamarine eyes. His face is hard, but kind in it's own way. Sora smiles, and the man holds out a card and says, "I think this is yours. You dropped it yesterday, but left the restaurant before I could get it to you."

Sora takes the card- his student ID for Twilight CC. He hadn't even realized that he dropped it yesterday. He looks up at the man and says, "Thanks, um..."

"Riku," he says, holding out his hand to Sora. Sora shakes his hand, and smiles more.

"Thanks, Riku," he says. Then, he realizes that he must look pretty odd just walking through the park without anyone else. "Hey, do you wanna walk with me? I'm heading to the ice cream place on the other side."

"Sure," Riku says.

* * *

Disclaimer: I'm running out of creative ways to say that I don't own anything except my plots...

A/N: yay, Riku's finally in the story! I'm happy... cuz graduation is Friday... and my 18th birthday is the day after. Happy early birthday to me.


	10. Fourth Letter

Fourth Letter

_OMG, 'Min__è__! Did you see that new kid? He's so cute! His name's Sora, and he's from Destiny Islands. I'm going to invite him to sit with us at lunch today, if that's okay?_

_Oh, just a little update. I told you it was going to be better. They haven't fought since Halloween…Though, if it's still okay with you, I'd feel better if Ven and Aqua stayed with you over the weekends. I don't want to take the chance of something happening._

* * *

Roxas passed this note to me on November sixth, a Thursday. That was the day we met Sora for the first time. I remember that Roxas was smitten the minute he saw Sora, and he was really scared that Sora was straight.

Sora was always so funny. The first day we ate lunch together, he showed us this trick that he learned from his dad where he balanced a spoon on his nose. Then, he walked around the cafeteria saying hi to everyone and acted like he was completely normal. It was hilarious.

Of course, Roxas only tried to be his friend at first. But, Roxas really did have a huge crush on Sora after about a week of hanging out together. I had only hoped that Roxas didn't get hurt from rejection; from the way I'd seen Sora look at some of the girls in school, I was sure he was straight.

I told Roxas of my suspicions, but he refused to believe it. "Sora'll give me a chance if I ask," he said once, but after that he stopped trying as hard. He stepped back and watched Sora interact with other kids at school. And, I'm sure he noticed it, too. Sora flirted almost non-stop with Kairi. Kai flirted back.

A week after Sora arrived, Roxas missed two days of school in a row, Thursday and Friday. I had a bad feeling he was so hurt he couldn't even walk, and so did Kairi. When he still didn't come to school the following Monday, we caught up with Aqua before she got on the bus and asked her what had happened.

When she wouldn't tell us, I got angry. I yelled at her, told her that she'd better tell me because Roxas is my best friend and if he's hurt I deserve to know. Aqua only started crying; I'd forgotten that yelling at her reminded her of what happens at home. I didn't mean to make her cry, and so I tried to comfort her. This was when Sora came up from behind us and knelt down in front of Aqua and hugged her. He turned to me and said, "What did she do that was so bad you had to yell at her???"

Kairi tried to talk for me, because I felt awful for doing that to Aqua, but Sora snapped at her, "Don't, Kairi. Naminè's the one that I asked."

But, then Aqua… she did something so very Roxas-like that I almost started crying.

"Don't yell at Nami," she said. "She's only worried about Roxas. I overreacted," she finished, stepping back from Sora's hug and hanging her head. She rummaged through her bag and found a folded note. She read it quickly and then turned her head up to me. "Roxas says he's sorry that he hasn't been in contact, but he's unable to leave."

She looked at Sora and Kairi and then motioned for me to join her at her level. I hunched over a bit- she only came up to my shoulder- and she whispered in my ear, "He's in the hospital, room 134. He just got there yesterday. Dad dislocated his shoulder on Thursday morning, and he was barely able to shower himself."

I tried not to look shocked, but knew that they couldn't have lasted so long without hurting him. I asked her when he's be out, and she said she didn't know; the doctors said his arm was also broken in a few places and they wanted to be sure he was okay first. I nodded and looked to Kairi. She understood that something bad was happening with Roxas, and that he would not want her there. Sora, on the other hand, didn't get anything, only that I was suddenly calm and he was out of a loop.

Aqua got on the bus, and I took Kairi by the hand and told her that I was going to see Roxas and to make sure that Sora didn't get involved. The less he knew about Roxas's situation, the better. Roxas didn't want anyone else knowing- it was bad enough that Kairi had her suspicions.

I wasn't able to see Roxas when I got to the hospital; visiting hours were over or some bullshit like that. But, when I got home, I was greeted by Sora, sitting on my front doorstep, scowling. I knew that he wanted information, and he asked me what was up with Roxas. I think, then, I started to reconsider his view of Roxas; maybe, he did see my best friend as a potential… something-else.

"Roxas is sick," I lied.

"What's he got?"

"Um," I didn't know what to say, so I made up something. "His… spleen… is attacking his red blood cells," I said, hoping that Sora didn't know anything about that- I didn't even know what the spleen did.

"Auto-Immune? That's pretty serious, is he okay? When will he be back in school? Do they have him on steroids? They should, to keep his spleen from attacking him," Sora said, and I waved my hands frantically, trying to get him to stop.

"I don't know what they're doing, Sora. I'm… not even sure that's what's happening. I know that something's attacking him, but I… don't remember what it was," I said.

Sora didn't look happy that I had led him to believe that it was serious. What was I supposed to do? Roxas was my friend before Sora, and Roxas made me make The Pact. I wasn't going to break it just because Sora was upset that I would lie to him.

I stopped caring when I got into my room that night. I stopped caring about what other people think about me. If that's what it's come to, lying to keep this secret safe, a secret that would destroy my friendship with Roxas if it got out… then I would lie. I never outright lied before, mostly just bent the truth, but if I have to… I will. And I did.

And I still regret every lie I ever told to keep Roxas's secret.

* * *

Disclaimer: Ryshie says that she's thinking about getting me a t-shirt with the Spork on it. It's gonna say that the Spork rules the world. And, on the back, it's gonna say that I don't own Kingdom Hearts. It's gonna be cool if she ever does it.

A/N: Yea, it's a little late and a little short and a lot of stupid and I'm starting to loose inspiration for this story but it's going to get better and that's what's pushing this forward. The thought of being able to write the scene where Roxas dies is what's pushing this story forward- that, and the reviews. Please review. So I can write. If I know that people are actually reading this story rather than just visiting the page, I feel better and have more drive to write.

I like writing. But, I like it better when I know that someone else likes what I'm writing.


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